My first overseas trip was with you.. 5 years ago.. 
Love always start with sweet times.. Yes, our love is just sweet 5 years ago.. 
But end with the worst trip I had in my life.. 
How ironic our life are... 


Singapore Trip ~ 26 Dec 2007 - 28 Dec 2007 
It was a sudden trip..
I still remember the immigration departments don't let me do my passport 
just because of I born at Sabah...
However I manage to do it after going thru some progress... 

That's the time I think, you are the one... 

Hatyai Trip ~ 16 Jun 2008 - 20 Jun 2008
It was an unexpected trip..
My friend bought the bus ticket and ask us prepare for the trip..
However, the experience was amazing...
The most relax and enjoyable trip I ever had in my life... 
It was the only one.. 
A trip with no burden, no stress due to work 
A lovely trip with you and fren 

Bangkok Trip ~ 04 July 2009 - 08 July 2009
Another amazing trip with a bunch of friends.. 
I always plan some trips after exam... 
Yea, rewards for myself after study so much.. ^^

Our trip is just so worth because everything was cheap..
We got the best price for air ticket, hotel, transport and everything..
The timing is just right.. ^^

Yea.. It was another sweet memories with you... 

Hatyai Trip ~ 29 August 2010 - 31 Aug 2010
It was the first overseas trip I had, without you... 
It was enjoyable gals trip..
Hope to have more gals trip in future.. 

That period was the time which doctor diagnose my dad for Kidney failure..
Nightmare start since that I guess..

Taiwan Trip ~ 05 August 2011 - 10 August 2011
First time to Taiwan...
Overall, it was a great experience... 
Looking forward to visit Taiwan for the second time.. 

However, while travelling with you this time,
I can't feel sparks exist in our love anymore..
And I just ignore it and thought everything will be alright,
Just like previously... 

Hatyai Trip ~ 31 August 2011 - 03 September 2011
Going for another trips after back from Taiwan.. With a bunch of friend..
Everything are still alright...
But you started to keep in touch with her...
 

Phuket Trip ~ 15 October 2011 - 18 Oct 2011
God.. 3rd trip for Year 2011...
Not excited at all.. I'm just stress... 
Because I was working that time... This is just too much for me... 

And.. The best part is... He already in love with another that time.. 
Try imagine a trip that his physical body with me, but his heart got another gal?
It was sucks.. Right? Totally sucks... 

Yes, the trips is ok... But... Not acceptable after I know he betray me at that point of time.. 

Bangkok Trip ~ 07 April 2012 - 11 April 2012
What to say? It was the worst trip I had since I born!
I was regretted that I resigned, just to going for this trip!
The stupidest decision I had make ever!

Why? Because that gal was travel with me..
And the best part, showing face for the whole trip! 
You just no right to show your emotion when travel.. Please understand this! 
NIGHTMARE!

Until now, I still don't understand...
Why you can bring her travel with me..
You know very well that I love travel so much...
But u did this to me... Just because of her!
You ruined my life... My passions towards travelling...
 
 
I still will cry when I think all about this..
Especially the BKK trips.. 
I just don't understand...
Why our relatiobship will ended due to betrayal..

My dear, it's almost 7 years relationship..
You told me, what past already past...
Just look forward...

I tried... I really tried hard...
But I don't know why...
I can't... I can't forget... 
Those memories just can't wipe off...
It was bad.... Why? Why you want to do this to me! 
It was just too cruel... 
You don't know how much I trust you...
You don't know how much I love you...

It's already 7 months...
It's time to let go right? 
Just let it gone with the expiry of my passport... 
Goodbye... 
Goodbye, my old memories..
Goodbye for all the memories you gave to me..
Thanks for treating me good... 
Somehow, fate just make fun of our relationship... 

Kinda hope the next trip will wipe off my BKK memories...
Of course, I hope I can met my Mr Right as soon as possible.. ^^

2013 already.. It's time to move on..




I just knew that the reason he bought this Air Purifier..
It's because of me... 
He wanted me to relax while studying.. 
All this while, I thought he bought for himself...
I'm so stupid right?
Only know after few years he've bought it.. 


When I having high tea at Publika..
This Eucalyptus Oil just got my attention...
And yes, it did smell really good...
Love this scent since I'm small.. 
It's just feel so good while sleeping with Eucalyptus scent ^^

Having our dinner at Retaurant Seafood Sungai Yu which located at Klang 
After accompany my fei ham friend change his tyre... 

The food is delicious and cheap.. 
4 of us eat the below dishes.. 
Oh my god.. Our stomach really can fit a lot ^^


♥ ♥Our Food♥ ♥

Grill Ray Fish

Clams with Wine

Lotus Root

Clams Vermicelli

Signature Sohon

 Crabmeat Beancurd

 Marmite Baby Squid

 Our dessert, Fried Ice Cream

 Herbal Jelly, Guai Ling Gou

The bill 


Manage to get my Samsung Galaxy Note II for myself before christmas..
Maxis is running out of stock... 
And I was the lucky one, got this phone the next day after I called to reserve..

I just love my phone so much.. 
Yea.. It's white again.. My favourite colour ^^
It's my best birthday gift ever!  

15 hour more is my final exam.. My ACCA last paper, P7.. I really hope I will pass this paper, because if I pass, I don't have to suffer anymore.. How best if I really can make it..


Nevertheless, dreams is still dreams.. I know my standard.. I'm not qualified to pass this paper yet.. Honestly, I wasted my 2 week study leave.  I don't know what have I done.. Not to said I didn't read at all, but just not sufficient to pass..


Yea. I know I need to pass.. I know how best if I can use my annual leave to travel instead of exam.. I know I can use my money for better purpose.. I know.. But.. I'm lazy.. I hope I can like other who can fully utilized their study leave..


Well.. I'm still optimistic one.. Expect the worst and hope for the best will still apply now.. Maybe I can answer the question 2molo? Maybe what have I studied really came out?


May god bless me.. Let Me go through this... And I wish all the ACCA student good luck too..


迷惘

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独自一个人驾车兜圈… 为了只是想找个地方可以容纳我… 可以让我读书… 最后，还是选择了KFC… 应该是懒惰吧，最终还是选择了最近的地方…


我真的很好奇，为什么星期一考试，我竟然没有紧张的感觉呢? 不晓得从几时开始，我只会在考试当天紧张… 考试前几天，我的心特别散… 特别想逃避…


而这一次，或许是不太有兴趣吧，竟然没有想去克服这一科的感觉… 如果不及格，我想我真的是该死吧… 我也不可以怨任何人… 不及格，绝对是我自己害自己…


最后两天了，可以加油吗? 可以做最后的冲刺吗? 以往的那股劲，去了哪里? 那种不认输的性格，怎么不在了?


Alone again

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Finally read through the important accounting standards... I was supposed to finish it by last week.. Due to my laziness, I only managed to do so until now...


I'm alone at KFC again.. The feeling of this kind of loneliness really hard to described by words... I really hope that someone can study with me, discuss with me or teach me how to answer the paper... Well.. This is just a dreams since many years ago.. Its already 4 years Im  study ACCA.. Everytime when exam, I have to face it alone, study alone.. I'm wondering, when this kind of life will be end?


When I studying alone, those bad feelings suddenly appears in my mind again.. Around last year, this moment.. I'm still busy preparing for my exam... All the bad things start happening... It remind Me how silly am I at that point of time... No matter how, what happened is already happened, I really can't do anything to restore it anymore.. I'm still stupid as usual, but at least now with a sceptical mind before blindly believe others.. I assume this is a good move...


God.. I admit that P7 is really hard... Can you help me to get through this? This is my last paper already.. If I can go through it, I would started to have normal life as others.. Please.. Help me for the last time..


这个月...
消费特别多...
身体检查，打针，朋友结婚，保险等等..
所有的消费都在这个月...
 
好穷哦...
原本打算在这两个月买电话...
也只好无限期延迟了...
 
我真的觉得自己好没有用..
别人到我这个年纪...
哪有还有像我这样...
户口没钱，欠一大堆债...还要烦考试费，学费的呢？
 
钱，真的不够用...
每个月拿了工钱...
1/2的工钱就要还钱，和给妈妈...
剩下的1/2，要给保险，吃喝玩乐，保养车等等...
到底每个月，我还可以存多少呢？
 
我真的很失败...
我希望我可以赚好多好多钱..
起码日常生活的需要可以应付...
 
我不是怪家里没有钱...
我只是很羡慕那些没有家庭负担的人...

倒数13天

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下午三点钟，别人正在忙着工作，而我却在强迫自己不可以呆在家，一定要出来读书… 我很希望，这一次是最后一次了… 这种生活，很难受… 半个月的无薪假期，工作都要一拖再拖… 唉… 昨晚还在因为那些有完沒完的工作睡不着呢!


我越是逼自己要加油，换来的只是无止境的逃避… 昨晚看了一整天的戏，前晚出了一整天… 对，我是该死… 但就是控制不了…


19号了，我为考试做了些什么呢? 没有，什么都没有! 我这该死的笨蛋! 还有13天，希望我来得及吸收这半年来学过的东西吧! 加油!


我实在太懒了...
又白白浪费了一天...
今天，竟然花了一整天看Warehouse13...
一集一集的看... 停不下来啊！
我真的该死！
每次考试前都特别容易被其它东西诱惑...
 
这种该死的性格到底几时才会改啊？
考试不及格时，又再那边后悔...
我真是无可药救了啊！
 
黄晓薇，请你努力点，可以吗？

老了.. :(

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看回两年前的照片...
就短短的两年.. 为什么样子有那么大的差别呢？
总觉得我的脸上好像少了光泽似的..
是头发颜色的问题吗？
我该把头发染成黑色了吧...
还是Aging？糟糕了...
人家常说过了25就会慢慢体会到皮肤的变化..
真是真的！:(
我是真的察觉到的...
是我真的老了，还是这份工把我摧残成这样的呢？
 
 
两年前的照片
 
 
 
一年前的照片
 
 
 
现在的照片
 


开始On leave了...
生活过得蛮悠闲的..
早上他的投资顾问和他有约，
我也抽热闹的听听有关投资的意见..
 
下午，特地去Mid Valley的City Bank counter申请信用卡..
结果还是不行... 我没有任何Record，结果还是拒绝了我的申请..
为什么申请一张卡都那么难呢？
搞得我都不想申请了啦！
 
这两天，想换个环境读书，
结果选择了在他家过夜..
他说我总是爱把他的房间弄得惨不忍睹...
我不在时，他的房间真的很干净...
当我在时，桌上全都是我的东西...
东一个，西一个的...
难怪他那么不爽...
 
老实说，我真的没有心情读书...
今天也无所事事的逃避了一整天...
从明天开始，我要加油了吧...
不可以再这么懒惰了...
 
刚刚看回自己写过的心情..
感觉还蛮不错的..
好像把自己的回忆阅读一遍似的...
 
其实，写部落格的原因..
只是想释放自己的情绪..
也想让想懂我的人可以接触我的内心..
毕竟，真正懂我的人应该没几个人吧...


Exam is around the corner...
I'm trying my best to complete my on going task before on leave..
But my boss just won't understand...
He know very well I'm going to on leave...
IF he is good in management or planning..
He shouldn't pass me any job or should plan to pass my workload to others right?
At least when I'm not around, someone can do my job right?
 
But he didn't! Even a client make a payment,
He still wan me to record even he can do it by himself!
WTF he is thinking actually? He thought I very free is it?
 
I understand that I should complete all the given task...
But not that excessive! It's too much!
I'm ok if he ask me do billing for company, I'm willing to help..
But what to do with customer payment with billing?
Customer don't wan to pay, is my fault?
Ur EX staff didn't issue invoice on time is my fault?
U can't claim ur fee also my fault?
 
I really sick of you! It's enough pls!
Once a client come, I shall check on the outstanding fee they owing...
I'm willing to do so if your office have the latest PC but not such IDIOT PC!
Do u ever know that everytime I'm trying to print a statement,
15min is wasted just for printing 1 single statement!
And not only 1 statement I gonna print!
1 to 2 hour wasted just for 1 client!
And all my job drag behind just because of you!

My job is issue invoice is that mean that I know how much should charged?
At least if you want me to issue invoice,
proper details you should give me right?
WTF you give me a total amount and expect me to  issue invoice for Secretarial dept?
You r totally wasting my time! Do u know how long I gonna use just for issue that particular bill?
 
If I can't do my job on time, you r the one who blame me!
I'm really tired... Tired of every shit that you gave!
I hope you still remember what position that I'm applied!
It's AUDIT ASSISTANT! Not admin okay?
 
What do you mean by if can't finish your job, OT LAR?
Is that reasonable that I got to OT until 10pm everyday?
Now is OFF PEAK already, everyone is enjoying their off peak period..
I thought I will have enough time to do my revision on P7...
Who knows? Everytime I back at 8pm you blame me for back early...
Saturday and Sunday force me to work...
You really thought that our time must be contribute to you?
We got to 24 hours on call?
 
It's okay if i willing to work on weekend... But not being force pls!!
I need some time for myself...  I hope I can do what I like...
But not being workaholics....
 
God! If you can hear me...
Can you please help me go through this?
I really hope I can pass my exam this round...
And I hope I can find a job that I really wanted..
At least a job that I can learn proper way to audit / accounts...


一半

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我想应该是太久没有过单身的生活了吧..
总觉得不习惯似的...
有时候想看看电影，却找不到一个伴..
想去旅行，发觉连一个伴都没有...
 
大概10年没有过单身的生活了吧..
单身是不错，但在周末和假期会显得特别孤单..
 
不想单身，但更加不想随便谈恋爱..
很矛盾，对吧... ^^
这就是我... 自相矛盾得不得了...
 
无意中听到丁当的一半
这首歌唱出我心中的感受...
 
 
丁当 ~ 一半
 
 
 
喝酒的伴 一起看電影的伴
早午晚餐的那個伴
朋友不能留得太晚 明天要上班
唱K的伴 一起去旅行的伴
聽懂我的笑話的伴
我的生活 只差那個人就美滿

快樂少一人分享 快樂就只剩一半
喝一碗湯
心怎麼都不夠暖
這張被單 這張睡床
再舒服都覺得太寬
沒人分享 幸福就只剩一半
就算把日子都填滿
節日卻提醒我孤單

沒有想法 有想法又能怎樣
只能寫部落格整晚
幾個留言安慰不了 心裡的遺憾
沒有負擔 原來也是種負擔
自由多得讓人心慌
你羨慕我 那要不要跟我交換

快樂少一人分享 快樂就只剩一半
喝一碗湯 心怎麼都不夠暖
這張被單 這張睡床
再舒服都覺得太寬
沒人分享 幸福就只剩一半
努力把日子都填滿
別來提醒 我的孤單

快樂少一人分享 快樂就只剩一半
喝一碗湯 心怎麼都不夠暖
這張被單 這張睡床
再舒服都覺得太寬
沒人分享 幸福就只剩一半
就算把日子都填滿
沒人知道 我多孤單 



连续上了3天的Revision..
老实说，我不明白Lecturer在讲些什么..
是真的真的不明白...
 
我不晓得，是我没有用心在上课...
还是我真的对这一科没有兴趣呢？
是我太任性吗？明明知道我的Audit不好，
却还要向高难度挑战？
 
当初选Audit的原因..
是因为我的Audit真的很差...
我希望借这个机会修补之前F8的知识...
 
可是，我真的错了吧！P7真的很难...
我相信，如果我选P4或P5我一定不会像现在这样...
当Lecturer在讲解时，除了抄，我什么都不会...
觉得自己真的很没有用！
 
这几天在上课时，老板都有Call我，
老实说，有点反感...
我知道他不是故意打扰我的..
但是心里就觉得很反感... 唉..
还有我的Study leave，他还没批准呢...
希望他可以放过我，让我专心读书....
 
上天啊上天，我知道你一直都很眷顾我...
最后一科了，就让我顺顺利利及格吧...
真的不想再考试了...
 

Feel emo for the whole day...
For no reason...
Depressed maybe?
 
 
Purposely bought myself my favourite drinks..
Glass Jelly Roasted Milk Tea from chatime..
Just to cheer up myself...
And yea.. It does help..
But after few hours... Depressed again.. :(
 
Maybe due to the exam is around the corner..
I didn't even have time to prepared for my exam.
Progress test fall on wednesday,
And the best part is, I don't even start to revised my note yet..
 
My workloading keep on increase...
My job can never be finished!
Why? I really feel tired...
All my job drag today just because of my boss ask me to find a FILE!
After the file is found, I thought tat, Yea.. Finally I can do my works..
But... The stupid PC and Printer ruin my mood again..
I need more than 5min just to print a single paper and my PC just hang there!
This is amazing isn't? How can I deal with this everyday?
I really cannot tahan anymore!!
 
If I can't settled my job,
I don't think I can apply for my study leave..
I hope that I can get my half month study leave..
I really wish that I can pass my P7...
 
Too many things happen recently..
I can't even have time to analyse my feeling..
In the end, seems that the only person I can trust is myself..
 
Don't promise to always be there for someone,
and then leave when they need you the most..
 
This is the feeling I have right now..
You give me a feeling that.. You are just another him!
That's mean all this while, what you have told me is just bullshit?
I really thought.. Maybe.. Maybe you will be different...

I'm sick of these mixed signals.. I'm only human. I can't read your mind..
I think the best way to avoid disappointment is to not expect anything from anyone...
I should know this from the begining..


看着他和她的故事..
就不知不觉地会联想起之前发生的一切...
真的觉得自己好笨...
笨得无可救药...
 
一个男的如果不喜欢你了...
做得再多也没有用吧？
好像把自己弄得很Cheap似的！
 
如果他真的喜欢我，
他根本不会背叛！
他不会对除了我以外的女生献殷勤..
 
我真的不明白...
为什么男人可以这样子伤害女生..
不喜欢了，为什么就不要干脆分手？
干脆放过自己，也放过别人？
放过我，让我去寻找一个真心对我好的人啊？
 
干嘛总是要浪费女生的时间呢？
现在的我，26岁了...
难听点，朋友们都嫁人了...
剩下我一个，连男朋友都没有了...
 
会遇到一个对的人吗？
真的可以遇到一个不会伤害我的人吗？
我很想相信，但我很怕！
希望有一个人，可以给我勇气，
让我再相信爱... 

Moody...

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My mom pass me a form on Friday night and ask me fill for her..
It's an application form from NKF regarding the subsidy of dialysis for my dad 
We need to fill in the monthly household income and expenses every year
in order to apply for the subsidy from NKF
 
And this year, my mom just pass me the blank form..
Without supporting of income, expenses of our family members, even her one!
And I just manage to collected my own supporting yesterday night.
Planned to fill the form by tonight..
 
When I'm in the progress to fill up the form,
My mom suddenly came into my room ''scold'' me..
 
 
Mom: You fill the form already?
 
Me: I'm still in the progress.. But I don't have others supporting besides mine. So is it means that I only got to fill up my part?
 
Mom: What? We got to submit the form to NKF by 2molo. You told me you can only fill your part? If you cannot do it, then just tell me earlier! Now already 10pm and I still got to work 2molo.. Come on, pass me back all the things, I gao dim myself.. None of you can actually help me!
 
Me: Wtf you telling me this kind of shit! Did I said I don't want to help? It's just that none of you guys pass me the supporting documents! How can you expect me to fill up the things without supporting documents? Why not you tell me how much income I should fill for brothers and sister? You never give me any information and you expect me to do it?!?!
 
Mom: About Kinki, just follow last year will do. About others, I really don't know. Just ignore it..
 
Me: Excuse me, this has to be consistant with last year. Wtf u telling me! Follow last year? Then how about the supporting documents? How can your figure can be same as last year as your daughter already graduate from secondary school? Fine, why not you just sleep and I will do it for you by tonight!
 
 
This is my mom! Ridiculous!
I admit, maybe I drag from Friday till Sunday is my fault..
But she have to give me times to prepare my own supporting documents right?
And this is not the 1st time we filling the form, why can't you at least prepare yours to me?
 
This is not fair? Why you want to throw your temper to me?
Am I suppose to bear it? And why me?
You have 3 daughter and 1 son! And why me?
You are not the only who stress okay?
I got my own problems and own feelings too...
I have tons of jobs to be done, and do I even release my stress towards you?
 
Being nice to someone doesn't means that you guys can be too much!
Keep quiet doesn't mean I don't have my own feelings...
It's just that I don't like to let ppl worried about me..
 
I'm just tired... Tired of everythings...
May I just leave all of this and away from town for a couple of days?
I don't feel like staying here...


Celebrated Mid Autumn Festival with Bloody Ink Crew at my house..
My dad are the chef for the night ^^
 
This is my favourite - Fried Prawn
 
Special request from Kinki - Kai Lan with Salted Fish
 
Another favourite - Gu Lou Yok
 
This is delicious! Ma Yao Fish
 
Erm. I don't know what is this, but all of them just love it
 
Kam Heong Lala
 
Fried Siew Yok.. Too salty for me
 
Thai Style Tofu..
 
Herbs Chicken
 
Tofu Gang
 
 
Wondering when only I can learn cooking from my dad..
All this time I just know how to eat ^^
Hopefully I can cook one of this dishes by next year.. Hehe..

A tough day

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Today was a very tough day for me..
My works are like, never end...
I was wondering, when can I actually complete all my job..
Do I have the chance like sitting in front of the PC
and browse Facebook, twitter, gossip, drinkin coffee or tea just like others?
 
The workloads are a lots, plus the computer are terrible slow!
It's actually equal to I will never complete my job on time...
Can you imagine how frustrated I am?
 
I really wish to go for a short holiday...
Perhaps 2days 1 night?
Just for relaxing my mind...
Enjoy the nature... Without stress...
 
Well, this was just a dream right?
Every of my friend need to work...
I'm wondering who's free to accompany go for this short trip..


Find myself hard to believe in love...
Apparently, all the guys are the same isn't?
I really cannot differentiate who is truly treat me well
or whether they have a intention to hurt me...
 
Is that really difficult to find
Guys who don't cheat?
Guys who treat me well?
Guys who loves being with me?
Guys who send cute 'good morning' texts to me everyday, just to cheer me up?
 
I'm afraid, really afraid of the one I care will disappoint me...
I really cannot accept that my man to have another girls inside his heart...
I cannot accept that my man flirt around with other gals..
It was really hard for me to get over it..
To be honest, I still can feel the pain even it happened few months ago..
 
I believe that everybody knows how to love...
 But not all people know how to remain in love with one person for a long period of time..
I guess those ugly relationship made me scared to love again...
 
I hope that I can met a real man..
A real man that can stay loyal to his woman without getting sidetracked by easy girls...


Feelingss

Posted by Siew Wei comments (0)

It's been a long time I didn't updates my feelings
I'm doing good actually
I feel that I'm getting myself back
The feeling of being single again is great
 
I have losing myself slowly due to the past relationship
I've ignore people around me and made him as priority
Dare not too close wif others boy because I scare he will not comfortable
And guess, what I get? Everytime I ask myself, do I really deserved this?
 
And actually, everything happens for a reason..
The failure of this relationship was not totally his fault..
Before he cheated on me, I admit our relationship has slowed down
Maybe due to too long staying together, and we taking everything for granted
There's no new sparks being created
 
This is the reason he gave for cheated on me...
Well... For me, relationship slowed down is not the reason for you to betray a relationship..
If you can't give a gal what she wan, why don't you leave her instead of drag her..
It's almost 7 years we been together.. I already treat him as part of my family...
I believe he has the same feeling as me...
 
Actually, he treat me really good..
Before all of this happens, I'm always be thankful to god for let me met him..
I supposed that because I never expect that he will do this to me makes me hurt to the max..
The hurts that given by him, totally cover all the good things that he have done previosly
Honestly, I wasn't sure whether I can still forgive this man...
Till now, when I recall those things that he has done, my heart will still pain...
 
During past few months, I have already given him a lot of chance..
 Based on what I observed is I shall stop myself giving him chance anymore..
He just keep on disappointing me.. Again and again..
I'm wondering, what is the point that he still treat me good but at the same time hurt me again?
I guess, the wound between us, won't recover anymore right? 

It's public holiday and I got nothing to do
and lazy to go back office too
Text my sister and ask for yam cha
But in the end yam cha becomes dinner
 
She insist to go the Soon Fatt Restaurant eat crab
She keep on telling me how tasty is the crab, and I have to try it
Therefore I have to forgo my diet plan and join her
 
We drive all the way to Sri Petaling
And thanks god, the GPS didn't 'lou dim' us.. :p
 
The food are tasty.. Especially the crab..
Overall was ok, is just that the food are too much for 3 of us ^^
Will definately go back again for the crab and prawn  ♥ ♥
 
 
♥ ♥Our Food♥ ♥
 



 
 





 
This is my little son, Fei Zai
He is so cute, isn't?
My godness! How could I unable to be with him right now?
 
Just bath for him this afternoon...
He should be smell very good now...
It's really too bad... If I could, I wish I can hug him sleep now.. :(
 
My dear son... Please wait me back ya..
When I back to KL, I will find you immediately..
See you on Monday ya.. Hehe...
Please wear this bee's shirt and wait me... Lol... ♥♥


其实，选择做小三那一刻，
就应该预料会被人咒骂..
不要以为你很委屈...
喜欢一个男人，没有错。
  错的是你选择做第三者！

既然觉得那个男人喜欢你，
既然觉得，他是上天安排的，
为什么不让他分手后，才在一起呢？
如果你的幸福是从破坏别人的幸福而得到，
这样的幸福，值得骄傲吗？
当别人问起，你们怎样开始的，你如何回答？
你确定他以后不会被第四者抢走？
被人咒骂，是你应得的！

老实说，听到你说：
‘不要等到失去后，才知道我很好，一切都太迟了'
我真的很想作呕！

或许，你真的很好。
刚开始，谁会不好？谁会不爱？
哪个男人不喜欢被关心？
可是！如果你没有试过同样的经历，希望你不要口出狂言...
你试过和一个男人在一起7年？
你确定，很多年以后，无论多忙你都不会忽略你的另一半？
如果不是，希望你可以收回那句话！

刚开始的热恋，你我都尝试过 ...
刚开始，都是甜蜜的。
在热恋的时候分开，谁都会不舍，
谁都会怀疑，那个决定是否正确...
并不是你很好...
而是你们从来没有真正的相处过...
那个男人还不晓得哪个决定才是对的...

我不是故意要攻击你..
或许，你觉得你很委屈...
但每个人要为自己做过的事承担...
你有那个勇气做这样的事，
你就要有那个被人诅咒的承担...
我不晓得你的朋友是怎样安慰你...
如果是朋友，根本不可能会鼓励你做第三者...
起码，我的朋友就不会让我做小三！

我想，你大概觉得自己没错吧...
我从来没有看到你抱歉的话语...
你的对不起，只是对他说？
你对不起的人，是他吗？

或许你真的觉得我的嘴巴，没有一句好话...
但我的好话，绝对不可能对你说!
你还欠我一句对不起！


成绩出炉时，我还在工作，
没有时间Check...
结果，电话响了...
Andrew SMS 我说：“You Fail”
我真的好气！气他为什么要Check我的Email！
那一刻，我差点想哭了...
不及格，意味着我又要花钱，花时间了...
一直努力的log in，想确定Andrew是否在骗我...
一边按电话，一边祷告... 很希望Andrew是在和我开玩笑...
可是他在Group Chat再次说我Fail，我真的觉得凶多吉少了...


结果，一看到成绩，我第一个就想打死Andrew！
以下是这次成绩结果.... ♥♥
成绩不好，但至少，及格了！不用再受苦了...
终于，剩下最后一张，Audit！我就能毕业了！



我知道，这一次，是幸运...
只有我自己知道，因为某些事件，
当时的我根本无法专心温习...
所以，当时只能祈祷...
祈求上天，不要再让我受苦...

上天真的有听见的...
我希望，幸运继续纠缠我...
最后一科咯，就最后一次，
让我在这个12月，及格！


22.07.2012

Posted by Siew Wei comments (0)

之前，一直在想... 要不要接受这份工...
结果，最后还是打算试一试... 即使不很喜欢...
从早上8.30忙到晚上8点... 是最早放工的时候...
忙起来，做到晚上10点，都还想要继续做下去...

这种生活，真的还不错...
忙到没有时间胡思乱想...
忙到没有多余的时间寂寞...
忙到没有想去做什么傻事了...

我真的很累，很累....
星期六还要比平时更早醒..只为了上课...
虽然真地很累，
但是上课也是为了得到知识.... 为了自己啊!
我一定要努力...
为了我自己而努力...
不要再为了别人而活...

一个人的生活...
还是很精彩的... 

感受...

Posted by Siew Wei comments (0)

很多人都问我... 为什么分手了，你还可以和他做朋友...
其实，我真的没那么厉害... 是我已经放下了...
之前还没放下时，我连话都不想多说....
只希望他离我越远越好....

对我而言，如果没有结果的东西，我没兴趣...
如果还没放下，又何苦做些伤害自己的事呢？
之前还没放下的时候，就连他对我好，我都受不了！
又吵又闹的... 连我自己都觉得我快疯了...

每次在就快放下时，她总会有些小动作...
我真的受不了.... 每次叫他离我远远的，他也做不到...
在我每次发癫时，他只会说都过去了，不要再想了...
这都是屁话啦！能不想吗？
那些证据，谎言一点一点浮现...我能不弄清楚吗？
我放下了，不代表我原谅他...
他所做的一切，我还是不可以原谅...

我不能体谅，为什么他觉得感情有问题时，选择去背叛我，而不是去解决问题...
我不能体谅，为什么他可以把那个女生带回家...
我不能体谅，为什么他可以带那个女生和我去旅行，出街...
我不能体谅，为什么那个女生可以和我一起出去？然后要脸黑黑？
我不能体谅，为什么他可以让那个女生脸黑黑 对着我，而不做什么...
我不能体谅，他可以背叛我多过半年...
我不能体谅，在关键时期，他继续和她联络... 说只是普通聊天...
如果他是有心，他不应该给她任何希望... 聊天都不应该...
等到我完全绝望，才说不会再和她联络？... 真的太迟了...

他在我最伤心的时候，完全没有弥补...
他只会说，过去了，错也错了，别想那么多了...
再伤心，也不可以改变什么....

这是人说的话吗？
我骂也骂过，哭也哭过....
对这段感情，我问心无愧...
这一切一切，已经过去了...

还好，上天总算对我不错....
某个人的出现，让我总算放下了...
他让我知道，这段感情不值得付出...
我也非常享受单身的生活....

不需要每天都担心他...
不需要顾虑他的感受...
不需要每天陪他吃晚餐...
不需要因为他的不好而难受...
不需要因为他对别的女人献殷勤而伤心...

連詩雅 - ''I'm still loving you''


When I close my eyes I think of you
And the times we’ve had been through
Even though we’re far apart right now
I remember back when you were here with me
How you’ve made my world complete
But now I’m left alone
We talked about love and hope
Wishing we could start a life our own
I wish that I could live without you
# Why did you tear my heart apart
You said you’d love me from the start
All those painful things you’ve put me through
But I’m still loving you
I’ve tried to give my best to you
I don’t deserve the things you do
Everything has gone to memories
I just wish I knew the truth behind the lies.

分享

Posted by Siew Wei comments (0)

在网上看到以下这篇文章...
觉得真的很有意义...

我一直不敢面对....
不敢面对自己的男人背叛了自己...
觉得很丢脸！觉得难以启齿...
这段期间，我一直觉得我很笨...
为什么会让他们骗到彻底...
这段时期，我是真的很痛苦...

我，接受了.... 也面对了....
要接受与面对，真的很需要勇气....
要接受，你的另一半爱上了别人...
真的很难，很难....

然而，一个人... 也没什么不好的...
一个人，让我更充实...
谢谢她，勾引他...
感恩她把我们的爱情变得不完美...
感谢她，让我知道他不是可以和我共渡一生的人

离开了他，我过得很好...
再也不用以他为中心...
可以做自己喜欢的事...
可以把时间都给了朋友...
可以把机会留给真正懂得珍惜我的人...
可以让喜欢我的人，对我好....


 
谢谢你，勾引我老公！

这文章看得我心里酸酸的，送给每一个爱老公的女人
俗话说的好: 再好的鱼肉吃多了，也还是想尝尝大白菜的味道；再好的老婆处久了，也还是想知道别的女人的风韵。所以，如果你下了决心勾引我老公，而我老公也上钩了，我一点也不觉得奇怪。

　　我想感谢你，在许多个寂寞无聊的日子里陪伴着我老公。人真的很奇怪，会莫名其妙地在人群中感到孤独，会无缘无故地在黄昏的时候伤感，哪怕他衣食无忧，且有娇妻爱子相伴左右。孤独与拥有无关，每个人的心中总有一块处女地，任凭外面刮风下雨，都永远无法触摸得到。或许就差那么一点点，或许爱和感受就像病毒一样不断升级，就差那么一点点，你就永远找不到满足的感觉。

　　我知道，如果我温柔，他就会感受不到辣；如果我安静，他就会感受不到酸；如果我风骚，他就感受不到甜；如果我善良，他就感受不到苦。而我不想让他的感受有缺憾，不想让他在没有我的日子里忍受煎熬。

　　人生不能想，一想就流泪。我们有我们每个人的事业，只是为了更好的生存，我们不能天天在一起，我们不能时刻都让对方满意。在异地他乡，能有人陪他，也是我前世修来的福。我只是想让他的生活不痛苦不空白。距离产生的美反而让我们无法分开，他说他愿意在任何一个场合跟任何一个人说，老婆为我做了很多，我永远不会抛弃她。人说爱是自私的，可是爱也是高尚的，爱的最高境界不是占有，如果我爱他，我选择尽一切可能让他感觉幸福。

　　男人经不起诱惑，尤其是美丽女人的诱惑，我老公也是个凡人，经不起。仅美丽女人勾引我老公的过程就会让他的生活充满了色彩。不再那么苦闷。
　　也许他会感觉到对我的伤害，其实只要不以为这是伤害，它就不是伤害。他善意的隐瞒，隐瞒绝对不是欺骗，那就是他不想伤害我。我穷其一生追求的只是他对我的心意，不是任何一种内容和形式。如果你勾引了他，而他发现你就是他一生要找的另一半，我为什么非要横在中间？如果你不是，他终究会回到我的身边。我了解并能容忍他的任何一个致命的弱点，我们一起经历了风风雨雨的见证，有谁能像我一样始终站在他生命最低谷的边缘？
　　曾经看过一篇文章，写的特别实在，文章名字叫《她现在能给你的，都是我十年前给过你的！》。

     我正专心的看电视，他突然说：“我们离婚吧”。他很严肃，不象是跟我开玩笑。浮上我脑海的第一个念头是：他肯定抄股亏大了，或者是得了绝症，怕连累我。我坚决的摇头，油然而生一股要跟他共患难的豪情。
　　他的第二句话将我打入地狱：“我爱上别人了，对不起。”
　　“什么时候？”我努力沉住气。
　　“半年了，是旅行认识的，她是导游，很单纯，人又热情。”也许意识到自己赞美的词语用的过多，他刹住了，愧疚的看着我。
　　“有多爱？”“十分爱。”
　　我没有再问下去，问的太细只会让自己伤的更深，不如给自己留点颜面。
　　回忆跟他在一起的日子，我们很幸福。可是，既然人家已经喜新厌旧，我干吗死不放手呢？我长长吐了一口气：“一切就按你的意思办吧。有人能将你这个祸害从我身边领走，我真是感激不尽。”他惊讶的看着我，他知道我并不是一个心胸豁达的女人。
　　“其实我对你也有审美疲劳。”你把我看的轻如鸿毛，就别指望自己还是我心中的泰山。
　　他深感愧疚，决定把家里的一切留给我和孩子。离婚前，他约我一起吃饭，几杯酒下肚，他的话多了起来，他说，他希望得到我的祝福，他还主动说起那个女孩，她朝气蓬勃，跟她在一起，他有被点燃的感觉。想起自己曾经也年轻漂亮，朝气蓬勃，也曾经那样吸引他，我与那个，只是隔了十年的光阴，却被明显贴上了旧爱与新欢的标签。
　　“她很天真，一点小事也能让她感到满足，跟她去购物，抽奖得了一块香皂；带她去吃北京饺子；送她一块20元的电子表，给她买一个土渣儿饼......她都会欣喜若狂。跟她在一起，我很放松，我可以抽烟抽的屋子里一股烟味，我可以玩通宵麻将，跟朋友拼酒......”他陶醉在自己的幸福里，满眼的温柔。

　　而我，像所有的黄脸婆一样，精打细算，过问他每一笔开销，买双袜子都要货比三家。我不许他抽烟，禁止他喝酒，更反对他吆三喝四的赌博。
　　“和她在一起，我感觉心跳加速，干什么都充满力量。”他显然已有几分醉意。
　　我打断他：“从此以后，我不再是你的黄脸婆，不再是你不用支付工资的用人。我可以节省为你熨衣服配领带的时间，来打扮自己；我可以节省下为你买衣物的钱，给自己挑几件拿的出手的时装；我可以不用绞尽脑汁地搜索鱼的N种做法，不用讨好你的胃，想吃饭我就做，不想做饭，我可以带女儿去吃快餐；我可以不再担心你抽烟伤了肺，喝酒伤了肝；我不再为你洗吐的一塌糊涂的被单；不用在你醉了酒，睡在街边某个角落时，一边哭一边满大街的找；我可以不用再操心你老家的亲戚今天谁做寿，明天谁娶媳妇，不用再每个月给你爸妈寄生活费；不用每年跟你坐半天的车，提着大包小包走十多里山路，只为陪你父母吃顿年夜饭.....是啊，离婚，真是太好了！”说完这些，我泪如泉涌，而他则楞楞的看着我，我一直都表现的很冷静，可是，一点酒精就把我的内心出卖了。三十多岁的女人，谁不在乎自己经营多年的婚姻？      我又笑起来：“离吧，离了看你得意多久，你十分爱她是吧？她也十分爱你是吧？走到一起后，一起生活几年，看你还会不会见到她就心跳加速，她现在能给你的都是十年前我给过你的，你就折腾去吧！等你折腾够了就会发现，你只是把我们走过的路又重复走了一遍而已。”   “你醉了？”他有些紧张的看着我。
　　“我没有天真单纯过吗？我没有年轻美丽过吗？我把你送的一只铜戒指、一本书、一枚书签视若珍宝，冒着严寒为你织手套。我也十分爱过，可是走进婚姻，女人的角色就复杂了，在爱的同时，有了很多责任。他不可能再十分专注的爱一个人，她要从这十分爱中分出一分爱公公婆婆，又要从中分出一分来爱自己的父母，还要从中分一分来爱孩子。十分的爱经过婚姻的洗礼，就只剩下了七分。当另一份十分的爱袭击她的幸福时，她就无以抵挡......”
　　最终，我们没有离婚，他改变了主意。他说我清醒的时候没有醉酒的时候理智，也没有醉酒的时候聪明．．．

　　谢谢某人，勾引我老公。
　　谢谢某人，洒脱，解脱。

音乐

Posted by Siew Wei comments (0)

音乐真的能让人释怀...
听了好多好多歌，
似乎每一首歌都能唱出我的感受..
或许，一早就应该用音乐治疗我的心吧...

现在的我，真的比之前开心了..
没有想太多了... 没那么敏感了...
希望一切顺其自然... 
只希望某个人不再来打扰我的生活...

不晓得以后的路应该怎么走..
我只希望，不太难走就好了... 

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