Siew Wei's Diary

爸爸终于出院了

虽然不是顺顺利利

但终算从医院出来了

今天到医院时，爸爸刚洗完肾

看到爸爸辛苦的样子

忍不住哭了出来

我知道，我不应该哭

可是我真的控制不到

爸爸叫我不要哭，他没事

他说：看到我哭，他更辛苦

我眼泪更加不受控制

。。。。。。。。。。。。

由于爸爸刚洗肾，又需要轮椅

我叫妈妈麻烦Church的人载爸爸出院

而我就去买‘懒人椅’给爸爸

赶来赶去的，真的很匆忙

最忙的是Andrew吧

今晚上机，但连行李都还没收拾好

就载上载下了

Book了Ah Boon星期三教我驾车

希望可以快点学驾车

就不用麻烦别人了

由于爸爸的病

家里的人每一个都慌慌忙忙的

忙着消毒，忙着收拾家里

看到家里那么乱

真的忍不住想把所有的东西丢掉！

在收拾家里的东西时

看到垃圾桶旁边有两个非常肮脏的烟灰缸

顺手把它丢进垃圾桶

不想看到家里那两个Smoker找机会吸烟

结果！！

她回到家就发脾气！不在乎家里有客人

真是家丑！

我从来没有看过一个人那么自私

因为一个烟灰缸？

她说：你丢之前应该问过我，请你尊重我！

她还说：我可以带那个烟灰缸去我男友家

这是什么话？

如果你真心不要在家里吸烟，你会为了烟灰缸发脾气？

你在男友家这么久，难道那边没有烟灰缸？

把烟灰缸留着，是为了让你吸烟方便而已

每一次叫你不要在家里吸烟，你都敷衍了事

还很伟大的说，爸爸都这样了，我哪敢？

这边才说，立刻就吸！骂你，你说爸还没回来！ 

如果你不是我妹妹，我理你去死啦

讲难听一点，你这样吸烟，只是等死罢了！

你这样的态度，就算得了癌症都没人会同情！

骂也骂了，讲也讲了

如果刚才不是因为Andrew父母在我旁边

我一定骂死你！无药可救的家伙！

我很想说！

请你不要以为你很伟大好吗？

Please！

你脾气不好，你就发在别人身上

很令人讨厌！

Fine，你忍不到！我请你自己想办法忍！

没有人要做你的出气筒！

如果你答应过的东西，我请你不要埋怨！

如果你要埋怨，请你直接不要做

如果要受你的气，我和妈妈宁愿给钱！

我们就算穷，也不愿意受气！
我不管你有意还是无心!
请你了解，我们没有欠了你！

我正式向爸妈道歉

因为丢了她的烟灰缸

令到你们又要在亲戚面前丢脸

唉，对不起。。

明天就要去Hatyai了

其实真的有点不放心爸爸妈妈

希望星期二去洗肾时，顺顺利利

我不在KL，希望家里不会有事发生

刚才临走前，爸爸还叫我玩得开心点

唉，我想爸爸最不想就是给我们负担吧

所以，洗肚子会比较适合他吧

起码可以自己DIY，不用麻烦别人

那爸爸就不会嫌自己没有用咯

虽然很贵，但主会保佑我们尽快申请到津贴的

愿主听到我的祈祷，愿您眷顾我们一家人

本来之前差点想放弃ACCA了

想立刻赚钱补贴家里

但Andrew讲了一句很对的话

你现在放弃，工钱就永远两千以内

你觉得这样帮到你家人吗？

还是你要以后有几千块，轻松的补贴？

自己反复的想了又想，的确！

为什么我要放弃？如果放弃了，爸爸更自责！

我不求工钱会很高很高

我只求可以帮补家里的费用

起码，妈妈拿我的钱不用受气

就算我们是穷，也要穷得有自尊！

医生已经确定了爸爸要长期洗肾

洗肾的方法有两种

方法一就是一般人去洗肾中心

一星期三次的洗肾方法

而方法二就是在家里DIY洗腎

但家里一定要保持干净

我很希望可以用方法二

起码爸爸不用那么辛苦

可是，我们家似乎没有办法保持干净

万一细菌感染，就完蛋了

而方法一，我不知道可以如何进行

一星期要三次

现在或许我可以带爸爸去洗肾

但以后呢？要是有了工作呢？

我要如何一星期请那么多天假？

若不做工，根本无法支持这笔费用!

很多人都说，可以申请津贴

但津贴也是几个月后的事吧

头几个月也要硬着头皮挨过

爸爸的EPF用得七七八八了

救命！我不晓得他如何用钱

现在我们如何支付这笔费用真的是很大的问题！

老实说，我没有办法解决

我也知道没有可能一辈子麻烦Ａｎｄｒｅｗ　

我很烦。。我真的很烦。。

为什么？为什么这种事要发生在我的身上？

是不是嫌我们家不够穷？

为什么没有神迹？

人家说祈祷会有帮助，但为什么？

爸爸需要洗肾？

问什么我无能为力？

我不懂怎样支持下去

更何况是爸爸？

面对洗肾，需要很大的勇气

我不知道爸爸可以挨多久

我很恨自己为什么那么笨

为什么什么都不会？

为什么什么都做不到？

为什么我要读书？

不读书我不就有钱补贴咯

读Ａｃｃｏｕｎｔ都没有用！

根本帮不到什么！

连要载妈妈去看爸爸我都做不到！

我很想学回怎样驾车

起码可以载爸爸去医院

起码可以载他去洗肾

如果这个世界有神迹

我衷心希望神迹的降临

我祈求上帝，帮我渡过这一关

从医院来回了几轮

好累好累

但身体的累，算得了什么呢？

心理上的累，才难顶吧

今天终于见到医生

问医生到底我爸发生什么事

结果竟让让人心惊胆跳

爸爸的creatinine（肌酸酐) 竟然高达2000

平常人超过100都要注意了

现在他超出20倍

证明什么呢？肾坏了！

要长期洗肾

从来不知道爸爸的病那么严重
以为只是轻微的病情而已
为什么从来没有人告诉我他的肾有问题？

医生说这几天要再度观察

看看是否有没有机会下落

若肌酸酐可以少过500就不用洗肾了

但是。。有可能吗？

要洗肾的机会很大很大

问了很多关于洗肾的资料

费用很大

很担心负担不起

除了费用，还要有人贴身照顾爸爸

我们全家都不能24小时在家

真的很难很难

其中一方放弃，就会少一份收入

也就是说，洗肾的费用就麻烦了

我不知道可以做些什么

觉得自己什么都不是

可以做的只是尽量找可以津贴的洗肾中心

医生说明天会再给我们看详细报告

我真的希望这一切一切只是噩梦

希望会有奇迹发生

As expected

My F4 Corporate and Business Law

Fail AGAIN!

But what I do not expect is!

The result same as last time!

Zzzzzzzzzzzz

However

I do appreciate my F5 result

My god!

74! I nvr think I can get more than 70 in ACCA

Frankly speaking

I put more effort in F4

But the result turn out to be a bit dissapointed

I don't know I should happy or sad

I just know I need to pay extra 70 pounds to resit the F4

I won't attend F4 class anymore!!

Perhaps.. Go for revision class!

June 2010 Exam seems really hard

Seems every of my friend at least fail 1 paper

Hope my freind don't give up

Add oil and pass next round!

期待了两个月

这天终于要来临了

还有12个小时

成绩就出炉了

紧张

期待

盼望

各种各样的心情

我想今晚一定睡不好

其实我知道Law不及格的机会很大

但心底还是很希望会及格

不想再读Law了

很闷！很闷！

到现在

还是那一句

希望快点毕业

如果神真的存在

希望他会实现我的心愿

但是他从来没有背叛过我

和他一起不会疑神疑鬼
在我最需要他时
他总会在我身边

虽然甜言蜜语是真的没有

但起码有安全感吧

每次冷战时

我都爱听品冠的他值得

朋友夸他对你不错　当你说哪有　内心不都甜甜的

刚刚才发觉我和他没什么合照

刚和他在一起时，没有电脑

所有的照片都没有收藏

有点遗憾

但我会把最甜蜜的记忆收藏在心底

毕竟5年了

所有的甜蜜期当然是过去了

没有所谓的庆祝

也没有像以往的特地庆祝这一天

有他在身边

已经足够了

五周年快乐

希望还有

六周年

七周年

八周年

........................

I love you ♥♥

I'm so moody

A lot of things appears in my mind

Feel I'm using too much money this month

Result going to release on Monday

If I fail again, means going to have extra expenses!

Tuition Fee is due... Another RM 850 need to spent!

Am I too willful?

I shouldn't go Hatyai right?

I shouldn't ask Andrew go Taiwan also right?

I shouldn't book the Bangkok ticket also right?

He use too much money this month

Somemore need to give loan to company again

Now his bank really kosong already!

I feel so guilty..

I just don't want be alone at home

I just don't like! Alone at boyfriend home..

------------------------------------------------------------------

A lot of things happen recently

Feel not happy, but still have to move on

My dad is sick

Bring my dad to Hospital, Clinic

A lot of medicine he need to eat

My mom keep calling me....

My sister also calling me...

They said don't know what happened to my dad

Seems like very sad... Seems like have problems

Yesterday I went back home again

Actually, is it really my dad have problems?

I don't think so, is my family keep saying he have problems!

Until he not willing to talk....

My mom keep scolding...

I know my mom

Really typical ''cb'' mouth

The words come from her mouth really nothing is good!

I think is my dad not willing to talk to my mom!

every words my mom said makes ppl angry!

Everyone loves home

But, how to go back home if the home is not warm at all?

I know, my mom cares everyone

Just the way she did is wrong!

She is not happy

So she bring all the emotions home

And no ppl care bout her

Actually we do care about her

But everytime when we talk, she make us angry!

I don't know, I don't know why the things turn out like this!

My mom is not like that!

I just don't understand why...

I don't know what can I do

Everything is beyond my control

-----------------------------------------------------------

Feel better after express all my feeling here

Feel comfort because everytime when I'm sad

My doggie will sayang me....

Thanks....

Accidently saw his blog past few days

He used to be my best friend for the past

Crason Chai

Feel a bit touching because he still remember me

I really thought he never put me on his heart

I never forget you also

Because too many memories gone through between us

Remember when you don't have car license?

We go genting by Motorcycle?

A great memory isn't it?

I guess there is no other will offer me go genting by Motor for the rest of my life

Remember the Taman Tasik Selatan? The PLU park

You force me accompany you to there almost every night! Nearly crazy!

When I broke up with bf, you purposely come and find me

Accompany me the whole night, listen to me lend your shoulder to me

I still remember you said

You will open an accountancy firm in future

Hire me and dear dear to help you

Yeah, sometimes I'm silly

I even think of open an accountancy firm with you

You find the business, I'll do the management

Well, this already pass isn't it?

I don't know.. Why our friendship will turned out to be like tat

I just know I'm not understand you at that moment

You turned out to be a stranger for me

You tell me, you don't like her at all

But your action doesn't seems like what you said!

Why you can hurt your friend just like that?

You said, we r your best friend

But why you hidden so many fact from me?

You are right? Maybe I'm just too tired to be your friend

Even me don't know what happend either

I don't know how to face you

I appreciate the good memories between us

We really had so much good memories hanging out together

Laugh together, Cry together, Even critic ppl together

You already have your truly angels

Let the past put inside our heart instead of dig it out

I never regret to be your best friend

I wish you all the best

Has been waited the Unifi since few months back

Finally, the Unifi is available at Andrew's house

Immediately we apply for it

According to the TM, their record only show either house or shop

So, Andrew's house is SHOP!

Therefore the monthly fee shot up to RM 199

But, it still worth it!

The speed is fast!

Saw the free sample advertise in the website

Is about the slim the face

Of course, I register immediately to enjoy the free sample

For those interested, just click the below website to enjoy the free sample

I'm not purposely go and collect the sample

Just went to movie and grab the sample at the same time

^^

Had our dinner at Teppanyaki

Just realise that Teppanyaki at 1U actually not bad

本来约好了去Aman Puri的''青山''

谁知道秋豪连那间店关门大吉了都不知道

结果就去了Kepong Metro Prima这间 BBQ  Steamboat

Dinner with Desmond, Apson, Kinki, Fye and Andrew at Tao Cuisine

The food is actually not bad, but we got to wait very long

Not really worth, by the time food serve to us, we already full!

But, it's not bad to give it a try if you haven't visit there

The service is good ^^