When 2025 began, a friend suggested a part-time gig.
With plenty of free time on my hands, I thought, "Why not?"
And while it’s true my income has increased, so has a profound sense of weariness.


Learning the ropes of a new job – their systems, workflows, and constant deadlines – was challenging enough.
Add January's Chinese New Year preparations and celebrations into the mix, and "hectic" became an understatement.
I ended up working right through the New Year, unable to properly enjoy the festive season.


Things did look up in February and March; 
I was starting to get the hang of things. 
But then came April. The month-end closing was brought forward by few days, and the intense pressure returned with a vengeance. 
Sleep became a distant memory, and my eyes paid the price, often dry and red from endless screen time.


Despite all this, there's a real sense of accomplishment when my salary comes in. 
I’m finally building savings! 
Since I started paying for my house, I’ve constantly felt like I was just scraping by. 
I’m incredibly grateful for my full-time boss, who is genuinely fantastic, and for a full-time job that’s relatively relaxed, giving me space for my own interests. 
But the salary there usually just covered my needs, and any unexpected expense could easily put me in the red.


So, I’m truly thankful for this improved cash flow, 
especially since my full-time boss also gave me a raise. 
Combined, things are definitely less tight. 
It's a bittersweet symphony, this pursuit of financial stability and the toll it takes,
But sometimes, you really do have to wonder if you can ever truly have the best of both worlds.

but for now, I'll hold onto the gratitude for what I've gained, even as I yearn for a moment to simply...
stop.
Right now, having just survived April's closing, I am exhausted – body and soul. My eyes feel incredibly strained.

All I want is a long, proper rest.

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