As July rolled in, I noticed a shift in myself — a sense of calm settling in. No matter what happens, I somehow feel that I can accept it peacefully. When problems arise, I find myself handling them with more ease and absorbing them without being overwhelmed. Maybe this is what people mean when they say the inner “mental noise” is fading away.



I came across a post on Xiaohongshu saying that people need “wood and fire” elements in their chart will have a better time in recent years. I quietly hope that’s true for me too. 😊



My part-time work has gradually become more manageable. After switching to a new laptop and adding a monitor, I’ve really felt the difference. Working with two screens has made me more efficient — I’ve discovered shortcuts I didn’t even notice before. I spend less time on tasks now and can finish work faster, which gives me more personal time. After half a year, I’ve also become more familiar with the flow, so things feel smoother overall. Of course, there are still occasional challenges in communication, but I guess that’s just part of working life.



As for my full-time job, things are still relatively light and stable compared to many others. There are moments that bring stress, especially when dealing with unexpected issues, but I try to take things one step at a time and trust that things will improve. The office is currently under renovation, so there’s dust everywhere — but seeing the space slowly transform and become more comfortable has lifted my mood too. I’m really looking forward to the renovation being done, so my work corner won’t feel so messy anymore!



So that’s how July has been — nothing dramatic, just quiet changes and subtle growth. But it’s in these small moments that I really feel the difference. I’m more calm, more at ease, and more aware of what to hold on to and what to let go of. I hope the days ahead continue in this gentle rhythm… slowly, steadily, becoming better.

When 2025 began, a friend suggested a part-time gig.
With plenty of free time on my hands, I thought, "Why not?"
And while it’s true my income has increased, so has a profound sense of weariness.


Learning the ropes of a new job – their systems, workflows, and constant deadlines – was challenging enough.
Add January's Chinese New Year preparations and celebrations into the mix, and "hectic" became an understatement.
I ended up working right through the New Year, unable to properly enjoy the festive season.


Things did look up in February and March; 
I was starting to get the hang of things. 
But then came April. The month-end closing was brought forward by few days, and the intense pressure returned with a vengeance. 
Sleep became a distant memory, and my eyes paid the price, often dry and red from endless screen time.


Despite all this, there's a real sense of accomplishment when my salary comes in. 
I’m finally building savings! 
Since I started paying for my house, I’ve constantly felt like I was just scraping by. 
I’m incredibly grateful for my full-time boss, who is genuinely fantastic, and for a full-time job that’s relatively relaxed, giving me space for my own interests. 
But the salary there usually just covered my needs, and any unexpected expense could easily put me in the red.


So, I’m truly thankful for this improved cash flow, 
especially since my full-time boss also gave me a raise. 
Combined, things are definitely less tight. 
It's a bittersweet symphony, this pursuit of financial stability and the toll it takes,
But sometimes, you really do have to wonder if you can ever truly have the best of both worlds.

but for now, I'll hold onto the gratitude for what I've gained, even as I yearn for a moment to simply...
stop.
Right now, having just survived April's closing, I am exhausted – body and soul. My eyes feel incredibly strained.

All I want is a long, proper rest.

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