As July rolled in, I noticed a shift in myself — a sense of calm settling in. No matter what happens, I somehow feel that I can accept it peacefully. When problems arise, I find myself handling them with more ease and absorbing them without being overwhelmed. Maybe this is what people mean when they say the inner “mental noise” is fading away.



I came across a post on Xiaohongshu saying that people need “wood and fire” elements in their chart will have a better time in recent years. I quietly hope that’s true for me too. 😊



My part-time work has gradually become more manageable. After switching to a new laptop and adding a monitor, I’ve really felt the difference. Working with two screens has made me more efficient — I’ve discovered shortcuts I didn’t even notice before. I spend less time on tasks now and can finish work faster, which gives me more personal time. After half a year, I’ve also become more familiar with the flow, so things feel smoother overall. Of course, there are still occasional challenges in communication, but I guess that’s just part of working life.



As for my full-time job, things are still relatively light and stable compared to many others. There are moments that bring stress, especially when dealing with unexpected issues, but I try to take things one step at a time and trust that things will improve. The office is currently under renovation, so there’s dust everywhere — but seeing the space slowly transform and become more comfortable has lifted my mood too. I’m really looking forward to the renovation being done, so my work corner won’t feel so messy anymore!



So that’s how July has been — nothing dramatic, just quiet changes and subtle growth. But it’s in these small moments that I really feel the difference. I’m more calm, more at ease, and more aware of what to hold on to and what to let go of. I hope the days ahead continue in this gentle rhythm… slowly, steadily, becoming better.

When 2025 began, a friend suggested a part-time gig.
With plenty of free time on my hands, I thought, "Why not?"
And while it’s true my income has increased, so has a profound sense of weariness.


Learning the ropes of a new job – their systems, workflows, and constant deadlines – was challenging enough.
Add January's Chinese New Year preparations and celebrations into the mix, and "hectic" became an understatement.
I ended up working right through the New Year, unable to properly enjoy the festive season.


Things did look up in February and March; 
I was starting to get the hang of things. 
But then came April. The month-end closing was brought forward by few days, and the intense pressure returned with a vengeance. 
Sleep became a distant memory, and my eyes paid the price, often dry and red from endless screen time.


Despite all this, there's a real sense of accomplishment when my salary comes in. 
I’m finally building savings! 
Since I started paying for my house, I’ve constantly felt like I was just scraping by. 
I’m incredibly grateful for my full-time boss, who is genuinely fantastic, and for a full-time job that’s relatively relaxed, giving me space for my own interests. 
But the salary there usually just covered my needs, and any unexpected expense could easily put me in the red.


So, I’m truly thankful for this improved cash flow, 
especially since my full-time boss also gave me a raise. 
Combined, things are definitely less tight. 
It's a bittersweet symphony, this pursuit of financial stability and the toll it takes,
But sometimes, you really do have to wonder if you can ever truly have the best of both worlds.

but for now, I'll hold onto the gratitude for what I've gained, even as I yearn for a moment to simply...
stop.
Right now, having just survived April's closing, I am exhausted – body and soul. My eyes feel incredibly strained.

All I want is a long, proper rest.

 Life has an interesting way of presenting us with choices when we least expect them. Right now, I find myself at a crossroads, faced with a decision that feels both exciting and daunting. On one side, there's the comfort and familiarity of where I am now – a place where I've grown, learned, and built meaningful relationships. My current role comes with stability and a supportive environment, especially with a boss who has been nothing but kind and encouraging. It’s not easy to think about leaving that behind.


On the other side is a new opportunity – one that promises growth, a higher salary, and the potential for advancement. It feels like the next step in my career, the kind of offer that pushes you out of your comfort zone and into a world of possibilities. But as with all new things, there are unknowns. Will I thrive in a new environment? Will the promises of future growth come to fruition?


I’ve always believed that every decision shapes us, not just by the outcome, but by the journey we take in making it. I don’t want to make choices out of fear – fear of leaving something good behind, or fear of stepping into the unknown. Instead, I want to choose based on growth, both professionally and personally.


So, as I stand at this juncture, I’m taking time to reflect on what matters most. Is it stability or opportunity? Comfort or challenge? Whatever I decide, I hope it will lead to greater things, but for now, I'm sitting with the uncertainty, trusting that the right path will reveal itself in time.


好久没有更新了。
这段时间真的忙到飞起,
完全没有属于自己的私人空间。

先来说说身体状况吧。
去年突然发现自己高血压,
做了个CT Brain,结果发现之前居然有过一次小中风。
于是,Sg Buloh Hospital 安排我进行后续检查。
因为我年纪还算年轻,医生建议做一系列的测试,看看高血压是否由其他原因引起。
如果所有测试结果都正常,才会认为是遗传性高血压。
我觉得医生很细心,如果是平时去诊所,可能早就归因于遗传了吧,哈哈。

有一次做完Ultrasound Doppler,
医生告诉我,我的肾上腺看起来有些异常。
虽然几率不大,但如果这里出了问题,
确实可能导致高血压。
接着,医生和我讲了一堆医学术语,我完全没听懂,哈哈!
他们怀疑是Hyperaldosteronism,
所以安排了特别的测试,还让我做了CT Scan

CT Scan,医生立刻把我叫去房间做Ultrasound,足足找了半小时。
医生告诉我,我的Liver有些问题。当时我心里就想:天哪!
不过医生也说,等见我的主治医生时,
他可能会安排更详细的检查。
当然,我的反应是:没问题,政府医院嘛,肯定不会立刻的嘛!

8月12日见医生时,他告诉我,Hyperaldosteronism初步结果是阳性,
所以需要再做一个确认测试。
不过,由于我目前的高血压药物会影响测试结果,
医生换了药,并安排一个月后再测。

至于我的Liver 问题,医生说是Multiple liver Cyst,
需要再做一次CT扫描来进一步检查。
不过他也提到L
iver Cyst多数只是需要monitor 而已
只有严重时才考虑手术。
目前,我们更关注
Hyperaldosteronism,因为它会直接影响我的高血压,
而高血压的后遗症大家都清楚

果然是年纪大了,身体问题也跟着来了。
我现在唯一的希望就是大家都能健健康康,远离烦恼。

 之前我和他4月尾去JPN
所以我们必须在10月尾完成注册
要不然要重新申请

犹豫了好久好久
突然间我和他说
要不然我们选10月10日注册?
刚好今年也是我们的10周年
就这样,我就信息Broga 那边问1010可以吗

   其实是真的有点 Last Min
8月尾去问人家1010可以吗😂
还好没问题
一切也算顺利

在此省略一万字(好烦的过程)
想说我们终于要注册啦!

 中风事件吓坏了我们
他坚持每天饭后散步1小时
一开始我的血压不稳定
时高时低,真的很烦恼

记得有段时间我的身体真的很奇怪
突然间那个pressure 似乎升上脑
觉得这个高血压好奇怪
也不知道为什么
我只是每次把水带在身旁
当我觉得血压奇怪,呼吸有点困难时
我立刻喝水
那段时间我喝了很多很多很多的水

一开始的散步一小时
也不是真的可以履行到
有时候,半小时我就晕了
我的情况真的时好时坏

中间血压有低,也不敢吃药
结果不吃药的结果导致我的血压不稳定
一旦血压不稳定
就容易晕,不舒服之类

试过停药几次,结果都很不舒服
到最后的最后,我决定不停药
至少保持血压稳定
中风的机会就降低

他也一直守护在我身旁
每天煮健康餐给我吃
饭后我们去散步
不知不觉,我们坚持了好几个月
身体也慢慢变正常

我们也决定要注册
因为我也不知道我几时会走
我希望我走后,屋子是属于他的

那天看了医生之后,我们就去JPN 申请结婚
由于决定不了日期
JPN 说你们可以选择去庙
半年内完成就好
所以就这样我们就决定迟些再想注册日期好了

这个病也用了好多钱
其实心也蛮累的
我也认老了
现在我只是希望我的身体健健康康
虽然钱重要,可是不健康的感觉比没钱更苦

 到了复诊的时候
血压还是很高
加上左边手脚感觉有点痹痹的
真的很担心是stroke
结果就问问医生有没有可能是
他说这个要去看neuro 了
担心钱的问题,我就叫医生写信给我去政府

然后就飞车去sg buloh hospital 了
一如往常,政府医院不会随便给人家进的
所以和柜台讲了好久
或许情绪激动,血压偏高
他们直接说,好吧你进去吧

老板也whatsapp 我说,
如果你觉得私人医院比较好
那公司会帮你付
我真的好想说我老板真的好好😇
不过既然到了,就算了吧, 我决定等

我还记得是2pm 等到不懂几点
手机也没电了
好痛苦
医生也替我做了好多test
然后叫我做CT Brain and Chest

到了晚上8点多,他说看起来你还好
如果是有stroke 的症状也可能是一个警告
医生也给我吃高血压药
我们需要等CT brain 的report 再看如何,
如果3天没有call 你代表没事


当天我是蛮绝望的,也好累
撑着劳累的身躯走去Parking
Physically and Mentally tired....

结果我也开始了我的高血压的journey
每天早上都吃药
因为我的血压在border 
医生说你如果真的低,最好不要吃
可以的话,你每天早上量
(做了实验之后,我觉得一就吃,一就不吃比较适合)

等下3天,没有人call 我,觉得蛮开心的
代表自己没事
BUT 
星期日一早,医院打电话来,
你的CT Brain report 出来了
我们看到你之前有中Stroke 哦
是旧的,3个月前吧
我........
医生:你最近身体还好吗?你方便来医院吗?我必须开药给你
 我说好的,那我等下安排时间过来

所以到最后,除了High Blood Pressure 的药,我还必须吃Aspirin
然后医生Tambah 一句,Aspirin 会伤胃
所以如果你大便出血,肚子不舒服,牙齿流血,你立刻去医院
妈的!我吓死了!

就这样,我踏上了高血压的Journey
医生说,你的血压如果稳定,就ok 了

我也每天都做降低血压运动
吃了晚餐去散步
食物尽量健康
尽我的能力做了我以前绝对不可能做的东西

我不晓得可以维持多久
应该知道我的身体稳定吧



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